Everything PH just said.
You most defnitly want 16:9, and I can't recommend a PJ that has a native res lower than 1280x720, again the Sanyo Z line is a sure bet, their made for HT.
The bulb thing is a drawback to digital pjs. Actually most projector bulbs do 2000 hours, and 3000 in econo mode(low light). Many people deal with that by having a jar in the HT room, and putting a dollar a day in it.
The research is the hard part, once you have it, it's all gravy. I researched for a year, but that was having to scrounge up all the info myself, here you have tons of helpful sources, ask all you like.
Oh,
XGA are 4:3 native pjs,
WXGA are 16:9(w = wide).
VGA , in graphical terms is 4:3, and being extreme low resolution(640x480), otherwise VGA is known as the 15 pin connector.
Oh, the DVD player is simple. You want the
Oppo upconverting player, for $200 it performs on a level with the 2-3k Denon players, it's got the highest rating in a shootout involving dozens and dozens of players.