Funny video games from the past! *NSFW* - DVDfile.com forum for DVD, Blu-Ray, and HD-DVD

Blackbelt Jones · 10-20-2003, 04:00 PM

The Young Kids Review Classic Video Games thread in "Test & Off-Topic" got me waxin' nostalgic. I posted the Journey The Video Game! screen shots there, but I thought they'd be better appreciated in "Game On!"

Journey - Arcade - Bally/Midway

"After retrieving all five instruments it's time for Journey to rock the house 'six ways til supper' at their concert. They perform "Separate Ways" (via a loop cassette in the arcade cabinet) upon a stage that looks like it was constructed from balsa wood and Play-Doh by senile Oompa Loompas. The show lasts an astonishing 8 seconds before their instruments are once again taken and hidden in five slightly more dangerous galaxies. I've never been Journey’s tour manager (not even in my lamest hallucinations) but if I were I would have told those long-haired fuckers to just go out and buy new instruments." - From www.davemmr.com

Get those Quarters Ready!

Rockin' the house: Video Game Journey Style!

Searchin' for that lost Micophone. Where ever could it be?

Who said they didn't have photorealistic rendering in the 80s?(And I hear pink tank-tops are making a come back!)

Blackbelt Jones · 10-20-2003, 04:07 PM

Smurfs: Rescue in Gargamel's Castle - Atari 2600 - Coleco

"It's easy to imagine how much of a pussy Generic Smurf really is when a bird the size of his limp genital-shaped hat can knock him on his ass. NOTE: backround behind bird whitened for clarity." - From www.davemmr.com

"After awhile I have to take my agression out on the helpless Smurfette by drop-kicking her in the face." - From www.davemmr.com

Smurfy!

ceeece · 10-20-2003, 04:30 PM

This is exactly why I can't part with any of my old systems. I still have Sega Genesis/ 32X/ Sega CD at my parents house. I have the converter for the Sega Master system games too in their 8-bit glory.

I am looking forward to Midway's Classic Treasures in Nov!

Blackbelt Jones · 10-20-2003, 04:46 PM

Things like this make me yearn for a "Snap into a Slim-Jim: Slim-Jim's a Snappin'!" video game. But maybe that's just me.

Kool Aid Man - Atari 2600 - M Network

Ooooh Yeeeah! BTW, that red blob is the Kool-Aid Man.

IKEA_boy · 10-20-2003, 04:52 PM

Back when licensed games were as common as a hooker with herpes, Yo! Noid was king. My brother even painted a Noid on my primitive early 90s homemade skateboard.

This game was actually pretty fun though. At least, as I remember it. Although, as with most NES games, "fun" has a different definition now than it did back then. All I really remember is lots of jumping. Lots, and lots of jumping.

Blackbelt Jones · 10-20-2003, 05:43 PM

GREAT Noid cover-scan, Ikea!

Think crappy "adult" video games are a recent phenom? Think again... this little gem was on the 2600.

Bachelor Party - Atari 2600 - Playaround

Your guess is as good as mine as to what the hell is happening on this screen (maybe that makes it all the more "ribald")...

Frank Gunn · 10-20-2003, 06:05 PM

Jesus, can we get a NSFW tag on this thread? Jones should be ashamed of himself, posting screenshots like that.

Blackbelt Jones · 10-20-2003, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frank Gunn

Jesus, can we get a NSFW tag on this thread? Jones should be ashamed of himself, posting screenshots like that.

(y'know, I think Mr. Gunn has a point... The more I look at the Bachelor Party screenshots, the more I think the little pink blob running to the other blobs is actually aroused!!! Can I get a witness here, or is ol' Jonsey's mind turning a perfectly wholesome pink pixel in to something it ain't?)

edit -- (Hmm, upon further review, it also appears the "female" blobs must be finding the climate a bit... uh... "chilly." You go Bachler Party Bob!)

Frank Gunn · 10-20-2003, 06:29 PM

My god, you're right, Jones. The boxy pink thing definitely has a hard-on. It looks like something out of a cave-painting.

I swear to God, this planet isn't worth invading.

Blackbelt Jones · 10-20-2003, 06:45 PM

Whew! Now that we have the ol' *NSFW* tag, I can really let fly!

Bachelorette Party - Atari 2600 - Playaround

Hey fellas... TURN AROUND!!! She is BEHIND YOU!!!

Hmmm... I think I would be runnin' too if these little guys were chasin' me. But then again, I'm heterosexual. Comments, ladies?

tic-tac · 10-20-2003, 08:25 PM

Geez! This is out of control. Mods, can you replace the above with this safer version? I even fixed the girl's "highbeams" for good measure...

Blackbelt Jones · 10-20-2003, 08:28 PM

Nice work Tic-Tac! That is too funny!

(Though I did notice your modified Green Guy is "tea-baggin'" it...

)

PALMERLIME · 10-20-2003, 09:59 PM

Almost as funny as the screen shots would be the prerequisite "NOT FOR MINORS" warning on the box.

Can you imagine some kid circa 1980ish sneaking this game home expecting some hormone-carbonating orgy action, and finding THIS??!

Blackbelt Jones · 10-20-2003, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PALMERLIME

Can you imagine some kid circa 1980ish sneaking this game home expecting some hormone-carbonating orgy action, and finding THIS??!

What do you mean... "imagine"

You know, when someone says "dog food," I immediately think "hardcore video game action." Which is exactly what Purina thought too. Another prime example of the dangers of "Video Game Licensing"...

Chase the Chuck Wagon - Atari 2600 - Spectravision

And you thought a video game about dog kibble would suck? Puh-shaw, I say...

PALMERLIME · 10-20-2003, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackbelt Jones

What do you mean... "imagine"

Okay. Maybe imagine is the wrong word. Fantasize. Yeah, that's right, "can you fantasize about a kid taking this home..." Oh WAIT!! No. Not right. Too incriminating. How does visualize suit you? No. No. That fairly damning as well. Crap. There's no way out of this, I'm afraid.

Blackbelt Jones · 10-21-2003, 02:37 AM

Here it is... the game synonymous with the start of "The Great 80s Video Game Crash." E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial! According to Atari Age, more E.T. cartridges were produced than there were Atari consoles to play it on! Atari buried 5 million unsold copies of E.T. in a New Mexico landfill...

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial - Atari 2600 - Atari

Eliot! Get me the fuck out of this video game!

Blackbelt Jones · 10-21-2003, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shilo101

Chase The Chuck Wagon is, in all actuality one of the holy grails of 2600 collecting. Goes for some serious cash if you find the original, which has been bootlegged so many times it's not even funny.

That's actually pretty interesting. I guess it just goes to show that, like English wine and the Paul Verhoeven master-work "Showgirls," some things really do improve with age...

That, or the Purina people really were on to something when they equated pet food with video games.

Hmm. I don't know about you, but when Meow Mix Live debuts for the XBOX, I'll be on it like white on rice. IGN gave it a 9.2!

Damian · 10-21-2003, 05:43 PM

Hey I really enjoyed the E.T. game back then. I still have it in one of those plastic totes out in my garage along with my 2600 system and all my other cartridges.

Blackbelt Jones · 10-21-2003, 05:53 PM

In honor of Indy being released on DVD today, here is a little trip back to one of the first Movie / Video Game Licenses...

Is it me, or does Indy kinda look like one of the Bachelor Party guys? You know, the purple one. With pants on, of course.

Blackbelt Jones · 10-21-2003, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shilo101

More info on chase the chuckwagon

GREAT links, Shilo!

Here is a pretty nice summery of Chase the Chuckwagon from Shilo's Atari Guide link:

Quote:

In the 80's, the popular commercial for Purina dog food included a dog chasing a tiny chuckwagon across the kitchen floor. Inspired by this, Chase the Chuckwagon was produced by Spectravision and released as a promotional item from the Ralston Purina Company. Buy lots of dog food and you could own this. The simple rarity of this game combined with its historical coolness makes it one of the "holy grail" games. The object is to navigate the dog through a maze in an effort to reach the chuckwagon, while avoiding the dog catcher and other obstacles. If he makes it, an animation shows the dog chasing after the chuckwagon and stopping to eat the dog food that falls out of it.

Blackbelt Jones · 12-20-2003, 03:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shilo101

I know I have the cover for the Loverboy game around here somewhere....

Now you KNOW using words like "Loverboy" and "game" in the same sentence has "Blackbelt Jones" bait written ALL over it... so, I’ll bite.

Was there REALLY a Loverboy video game?

Was it the "Canadian" response to American supergroup Journey's smash hit video game?

Did it feature the smash hit, "Almost Paradise"?

You KNOW I'm dieing over here, don't you?

Sycowulf · 12-20-2003, 04:42 PM

I was playing with mame last night, and I found a very odd game... Its called "Streaker" and in which you play a streaker running from the cops to pick up little dots (dunno why). Its sort of a pac man clone, but instead of fruit pickups poping up, there are clothes pickups (underwear,bra,shirt,pants,shoes-thats as far as i got). If i get around to it ill take a screenshot of it

Notoriousaurus · 12-20-2003, 07:07 PM

Atari Guide is a great site. I actually donated 2 scans to it for the webmaster who had never seen them before... (this was about 2 years ago)

Harbor Escape (a River Raid clone)

Cosmic Corridor

Blackbelt Jones · 12-22-2003, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shilo101

Oh man. Now I feel like a heel, getting your hopes so high up and all.

I knew you were (though deep down inside, secretly hoping you weren't), as they say in NASCAR country, Funnin' me... but a fella can dream, can't he?

Blackbelt Jones · 04-01-2004, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shilo101

Someday, somehow, with god as my witness, there will be a loverboy videogame!

With all your new found Game On! mod powers, I think it's high time you should see about that Loverboy videgame, eh?

10-20-2003, 04:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
Blackbelt Jones edited for BOLD flavor Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Chicago, Il	Funny video games from the past! (screenshots included - just add Def Leppard tunes!) The Young Kids Review Classic Video Games thread in "Test & Off-Topic" got me waxin' nostalgic. I posted the Journey The Video Game! screen shots there, but I thought they'd be better appreciated in "Game On!" Journey - Arcade - Bally/Midway "After retrieving all five instruments it's time for Journey to rock the house 'six ways til supper' at their concert. They perform "Separate Ways" (via a loop cassette in the arcade cabinet) upon a stage that looks like it was constructed from balsa wood and Play-Doh by senile Oompa Loompas. The show lasts an astonishing 8 seconds before their instruments are once again taken and hidden in five slightly more dangerous galaxies. I've never been Journey’s tour manager (not even in my lamest hallucinations) but if I were I would have told those long-haired fuckers to just go out and buy new instruments." - From www.davemmr.com Get those Quarters Ready! Rockin' the house: Video Game Journey Style! Searchin' for that lost Micophone. Where ever could it be? Who said they didn't have photorealistic rendering in the 80s?(And I hear pink tank-tops are making a come back!) __________________ "Mr. & Mrs. Jones Go to the Movies!" The Team Blackbelt DVD Collection (and yes the "Steel Magnolias: SE" belongs to my wife) Last edited by Blackbelt Jones : 10-20-2003 at 10:27 PM.

10-20-2003, 04:07 PM	#2 (permalink)
Blackbelt Jones edited for BOLD flavor Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Chicago, Il	Smurfs: Rescue in Gargamel's Castle - Atari 2600 - Coleco "It's easy to imagine how much of a pussy Generic Smurf really is when a bird the size of his limp genital-shaped hat can knock him on his ass. NOTE: backround behind bird whitened for clarity." - From www.davemmr.com "After awhile I have to take my agression out on the helpless Smurfette by drop-kicking her in the face." - From www.davemmr.com Smurfy! __________________ "Mr. & Mrs. Jones Go to the Movies!" The Team Blackbelt DVD Collection (and yes the "Steel Magnolias: SE" belongs to my wife) Last edited by Blackbelt Jones : 10-20-2003 at 10:22 PM.

10-20-2003, 04:46 PM	#4 (permalink)
Blackbelt Jones edited for BOLD flavor Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Chicago, Il	Things like this make me yearn for a "Snap into a Slim-Jim: Slim-Jim's a Snappin'!" video game. But maybe that's just me. Kool Aid Man - Atari 2600 - M Network Ooooh Yeeeah! BTW, that red blob is the Kool-Aid Man. __________________ "Mr. & Mrs. Jones Go to the Movies!" The Team Blackbelt DVD Collection (and yes the "Steel Magnolias: SE" belongs to my wife) Last edited by Blackbelt Jones : 10-20-2003 at 10:19 PM.

10-20-2003, 05:43 PM	#6 (permalink)
Blackbelt Jones edited for BOLD flavor Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Chicago, Il	GREAT Noid cover-scan, Ikea! Think crappy "adult" video games are a recent phenom? Think again... this little gem was on the 2600. Bachelor Party - Atari 2600 - Playaround Your guess is as good as mine as to what the hell is happening on this screen (maybe that makes it all the more "ribald")... __________________ "Mr. & Mrs. Jones Go to the Movies!" The Team Blackbelt DVD Collection (and yes the "Steel Magnolias: SE" belongs to my wife) Last edited by Blackbelt Jones : 10-20-2003 at 10:18 PM.

10-20-2003, 06:45 PM	#10 (permalink)
Blackbelt Jones edited for BOLD flavor Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Chicago, Il	Whew! Now that we have the ol' NSFW tag, I can really let fly! Bachelorette Party - Atari 2600 - Playaround Hey fellas... TURN AROUND!!! She is BEHIND YOU!!! Hmmm... I think I would be runnin' too if these little guys were chasin' me. But then again, I'm heterosexual. Comments, ladies? __________________ "Mr. & Mrs. Jones Go to the Movies!" The Team Blackbelt DVD Collection (and yes the "Steel Magnolias: SE" belongs to my wife) Last edited by Blackbelt Jones : 10-20-2003 at 10:17 PM.

10-20-2003, 04:30 PM	#3 (permalink)
ceeece Actor Join Date: Sep 2001	This is exactly why I can't part with any of my old systems. I still have Sega Genesis/ 32X/ Sega CD at my parents house. I have the converter for the Sega Master system games too in their 8-bit glory. I am looking forward to Midway's Classic Treasures in Nov!

10-20-2003, 06:05 PM	#7 (permalink)
Frank Gunn Actor Join Date: Oct 2002	Jesus, can we get a NSFW tag on this thread? Jones should be ashamed of himself, posting screenshots like that.

10-20-2003, 06:29 PM	#9 (permalink)
Frank Gunn Actor Join Date: Oct 2002	My god, you're right, Jones. The boxy pink thing definitely has a hard-on. It looks like something out of a cave-painting. I swear to God, this planet isn't worth invading.

10-20-2003, 08:28 PM	#12 (permalink)
Blackbelt Jones edited for BOLD flavor Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Chicago, Il	Nice work Tic-Tac! That is too funny! (Though I did notice your modified Green Guy is "tea-baggin'" it... ) __________________ "Mr. & Mrs. Jones Go to the Movies!" The Team Blackbelt DVD Collection (and yes the "Steel Magnolias: SE" belongs to my wife) Last edited by Blackbelt Jones : 10-21-2003 at 02:48 AM.

10-20-2003, 09:59 PM	#13 (permalink)
PALMERLIME Is never satisfied? Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Home of Justin Guarini, Carson Kressley and Christine Taylor	Almost as funny as the screen shots would be the prerequisite "NOT FOR MINORS" warning on the box. Can you imagine some kid circa 1980ish sneaking this game home expecting some hormone-carbonating orgy action, and finding THIS??! __________________ "Why? Because it feels so god@*mn good."

10-21-2003, 02:37 AM	#16 (permalink)
Blackbelt Jones edited for BOLD flavor Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Chicago, Il	Here it is... the game synonymous with the start of "The Great 80s Video Game Crash." E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial! According to Atari Age, more E.T. cartridges were produced than there were Atari consoles to play it on! Atari buried 5 million unsold copies of E.T. in a New Mexico landfill... E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial - Atari 2600 - Atari Eliot! Get me the fuck out of this video game! __________________ "Mr. & Mrs. Jones Go to the Movies!" The Team Blackbelt DVD Collection (and yes the "Steel Magnolias: SE" belongs to my wife)

10-21-2003, 05:43 PM	#18 (permalink)
Damian My dad can beat up your dad. Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Mississippi	Hey I really enjoyed the E.T. game back then. I still have it in one of those plastic totes out in my garage along with my 2600 system and all my other cartridges.

10-21-2003, 05:53 PM	#19 (permalink)
Blackbelt Jones edited for BOLD flavor Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Chicago, Il	In honor of Indy being released on DVD today, here is a little trip back to one of the first Movie / Video Game Licenses... Is it me, or does Indy kinda look like one of the Bachelor Party guys? You know, the purple one. With pants on, of course. __________________ "Mr. & Mrs. Jones Go to the Movies!" The Team Blackbelt DVD Collection (and yes the "Steel Magnolias: SE" belongs to my wife)

12-20-2003, 04:42 PM	#22 (permalink)
Sycowulf Actor Join Date: Aug 2002	I was playing with mame last night, and I found a very odd game... Its called "Streaker" and in which you play a streaker running from the cops to pick up little dots (dunno why). Its sort of a pac man clone, but instead of fruit pickups poping up, there are clothes pickups (underwear,bra,shirt,pants,shoes-thats as far as i got). If i get around to it ill take a screenshot of it __________________ My Game Collection \|\| My DVD Collection

12-20-2003, 07:07 PM	#23 (permalink)
Notoriousaurus Rezident Non-Black MetroSexual Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Mesa, AZ	Atari Guide is a great site. I actually donated 2 scans to it for the webmaster who had never seen them before... (this was about 2 years ago) Harbor Escape (a River Raid clone) Cosmic Corridor __________________ DVDFile Mascot \| A Metrosexual DVD Collection! \| STAY IN SCHOOL KIDS! "I sure hope she doesn't have a penis because that would just ruin it for me." - Damian

04-01-2004, 10:51 PM	#26 (permalink)
Blackbelt Jones edited for BOLD flavor Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Chicago, Il