Horrifying Multiplex Sights and Sounds

[DavidLaman]

Originally posted by wynterfire
then all of a sudden a man down in the front left of the theater decided he wanted to listen to his own soundtrack...on one of those rather large ghetto boom boxes...REAL LOUD

Someone pulling a stunt like that craves attention in the worst way. Jesus Christ!

[Shawn Watson]

It's probably too late on in the thread for a reaction but who cares...

Out of all the zillion-gillion cinemas that Edinburgh has (honestly in a city of this little size...what's the point) the only one I have EVER had any problems at is the goddamn Odeon.

Don't get me wrong, it's a great cinema, well the big screen (number 1) of 700 seats is anyway. But they really need to address the way they run things.

In no order...

Conspiracy Theory-Screen 1

Gay couple up the back shagging each other's asses. They tell me to shut up when I suggest getting a room.

Signs-Screen 1

Everyone respects this film and remains quiet. Execpt for a bunch of idiot twelve year old girls who do everything BUT watch the film and ruin it for over 680 others watching the movie. Usher's know this, ushers see this. Usher do fuck all about it! I literally understood none of that film thanks to them.

Oceans Eleven-Screen 2

Very crowded so me and my girl had to sit in different rows. She was in the row in front of me and thankfully had a decent view. An old lady in front of me had an afro the size of Jupiter. Saw practically none of the film. Some fucking moron brought a screaming baby into the movie. Why?!?!?!?!? A twelve year old girl down the front answers her cell phone and talks loudly for some time.

"Hello? WHAT! NO, I'M JUST WATCHING A MOVIE! REALLY? SHE SAID THAT? YOU'RE KIDDING!"

Usher's know this, ushers see this. Usher do fuck all about it!

Bean: The Ulitmate Disaster Movie-Screen 3

Some IDIOT kid down the front thot it okay to laugh at EV-ERY-THING Mr Bean did. Seriously! Mr Bean walked this kid would be like "HA-HA-HA". Literally SAYING those words. And he meant it!

My friend Andrew was having NONE of it and yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" For the rest of the movie the entire audience hardly breathed air.

Armageddon (Opening Weekend)-Screen 4

A tiny little screen for a big movie. Some cruddy british movie made for less than £10 and about 4 audience members hogs screen 1. Oh...THAT'S WORTH IT!!!

I don't know how many cinemas in America operate that curtain-scheme for movies with different aspect ratios but most cinemas here do. Tho the Odeon is THE WORST. I have never seen a film in it's true AR at the Odeon because they never open up the curtains enough. All 1.85:1 films there are shown in 1.66:1 on all screens. You can see a massive chunk of picture projected onto the black at either side. Most 2.35:1 movies are shown at roughly 2.20:1

Plus the whole place smells like sickness. And when I saw Die Another Day a couple of weeks ago at a DIFFERENT Odeon (I refuse refuse refuse to go back to the bad one) an incident, not unlike the story Chunk tells the Fratelli's in The Goonies, happened. And it reeked.

These days I just see my movies as Morning screenings at the UGC. It's way cheaper and it's VERY quiet.

Shawn

[Oscar Antonio M]

This story has nothing to do with me, but...

When a cousin of mine went to see The Others in one of the jumpy scenes a guy puked all over some seats.

[FurryHumanBeing]

I work at a theater, Island 16 Cinema DeLux, if you're ever in Long Island, stop by , so I see lots of weird things that people do.

It wasn't so horrorable, but when I saw Crockodile Hunter, it was on a Wednesday, 7PM showing. The theater was fairly mt. There I saw a young adolecent couple engaging in oral sex. Guiltfully, I found that more interesting than the movie.

[aintnosin]

Originally posted by FurryHumanBeing
It wasn't so horrorable, but when I saw Crockodile Hunter, it was on a Wednesday, 7PM showing. The theater was fairly mt. There I saw a young adolecent couple engaging in oral sex. Guiltfully, I found that more interesting than the movie.

Maybe that was just their "performance art" commentary on the movie, 'cause that movie sure did suck.

[ILoveDVDs]

:rar: :flush:

How about THIS (making you feel all those emotions that those icons depict)?

It starts out with you arriving really early to get a good seat. The theater's practically empty. You sit in your favorite spot in the middle. The classic -- and irritating -- thing happens. Someone mosies in and sits right in front of you (they pick that seat out of about 180 choices). Things are okay until the theater gets packed. Someone lugs in a few kids (which are surprisingly quiet and still), but the man who sat in front of you in the first place looks annoyed and moves. Where does he sit? Where only a few seats are left ... one of them's next to you. When the movie starts getting going, the pig starts farting loudly and burping and making traumatizing relief sounds under his breath. The odor makes you want to barf in your popcorn. You move. The only spot available is way down front (where you get a stiff neck from having to look up at the screen).

[Enzian]

Wow! That's incredible...

When I saw Ep II in a near-empty theater, this one guy sat behind me and off to the side. He must have had to piss, or something, 'cause he kept tapping his foot against the seat in front of him - which was my row of seat backs.
Thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump. :rar:

[tvboy]

Originally posted by JP
i once went to the movies, and saw a package of open condoms!

yes, i said condoms!

a sad day indeed!

Not for the person who left them!

[tvboy]

Originally posted by wynterfire

then all of a sudden a man down in the front left of the theater decided he wanted to listen to his own soundtrack...on one of those rather large ghetto boom boxes...REAL LOUD ...and rap music no less!!! (i guess he didn't like the prince soundtrack...and how he got into the theater with a large radio is beyond me).

Radio Rahim lives!

[wynterfire]

you know, this cell phone thing has got to end...

i went to see LOTR two towers and i must have heard 40 cell phones go off during the movie. and the funny thing is that over half of them answered and carried on a conversation.

i think movie theaters should install some device that jams peoples cell phones while they're in the theater.

i swear to god, people need to extend some courtesy when given the PRIVELEDGE of having a cell phone.

[brian]

Allright, so i pre-ordered tickets to "The Two Towers" for opening night. Anyways, as soon as the movie started up, it was quite obvious something was wrong. There was no bass at all! And the surrounds weren't on. The sound sounded like TV speakers, only louder. Oddly enough, there was a THX trailer before the movie started, and the trailers seemed to have sounded better. Toward the begining of the Helm's Deep battle, the bass kicked in, and the surrounds kicked in for 2 minutes. Crappy audio experience for sure, considering it was opening night. My friends and i were in a bit of a hurry to leave, and didn't feel like dealing with the manager.

I emailed them regarding the sound issue, and they offered me some free passes, so at least all is well. I went to the same theater again, and the sound seemed to be fixed

[Oscar Antonio M]

Originally posted by brian
Allright, so i pre-ordered tickets to "The Two Towers" for opening night. Anyways, as soon as the movie started up, it was quite obvious something was wrong. There was no bass at all! And the surrounds weren't on. The sound sounded like TV speakers, only louder. Oddly enough, there was a THX trailer before the movie started, and the trailers seemed to have sounded better. Toward the begining of the Helm's Deep battle, the bass kicked in, and the surrounds kicked in for 2 minutes. Crappy audio experience for sure, considering it was opening night. My friends and i were in a bit of a hurry to leave, and didn't feel like dealing with the manager.

I emailed them regarding the sound issue, and they offered me some free passes, so at least all is well. I went to the same theater again, and the sound seemed to be fixed

I went to see it again today (great as always) but this was at a different theater.
While the sound didn´t suck, it totally lacked in surrounds and bass. And look the trailers were all full-powered (they were for the BTTF DVD, Bad Boys 2, Bruce Almighty, Final Destination 2 & About Schmidt) i tried to tell someone in the theater to crank it up, but damn i was so much in love with the film.


But maybe i should stop going to AMC, they are beginning to suck.
Not to mention that a guy was kicking my seat and i told him to stop but he was wouldnt stop, not to mention that throughout the whole film he went "Oh, poor Frodo" "Is that Gollum?!" and he said all the bullshit imaginable you could think of.

[MiddleEarthGirl]

Might as well join in:

Road Trip:
There was a old couple laughing right along with the kinds(and the theater was filled with HS and college kids)

Magnolia:
A crying baby ruined the frog scene

South Park:
Last show of the night people singing with every song(actually funny)

Someone Like You:
The lights kept coming up at 4 different times during the movie.Got a free pass for that one

Time Machine:
Another crying baby

Die Another Day:
Nosebleed seats

Spiderman/Two Towers(same thing,different movies):
I nabbed great seats but the move down speech happened

[EM3]

LAst night went to see Catch Me if You Can. The theatre says Dolby Digital but sounded like a scratchy 45. Young kids 4 rows behind and on the next aisle were talking louder than the movie and the movie had bars on the sides.

[MRSMITH]

Originally posted by Monterey Jack
Another multiplex irritant are inept projectionists who misframe the movie, revealing those dreaded boom mikes at the top of the screen and cutting off important visual imformation at the bottom (like when I saw Femme Fatale, where fully half of the subtitles at the bottom were hacked off!).

Well, chances are at least that the movie wasn't misframed at
all: what you're probably seeing is about 2/3rds of a 4:3 film
that is matted for theater projection to LOOK like 'widescreen'.

This phony business makes it possible then to use the original
film for ordinary 4:3 analog television purposes without first
making a pan & scan transfer. For whatever the reason,
the 'cover' on the projector for the film probably wasn't
set down properly, so you saw the top portion, or simply more
of the actual 4:3 film than you should have. When the movie
is being filmed, a rectangular box is drawn on the viewfinder
in which the relevant action is supposed to be placed, so
on occasion you'll then see something like a microphone at
top of the frame which is not otherwise to be seen if properly
matted on the theater projector.

I don't know, but it seems that fewer and fewer films are
REAL 'widescreen'(such as 2.35:1, etc.) anymore, simply
because it's cheaper(including for analog TV broadcast
purposes) to just flip down a cover and show a portion of
the 4:3 frame in the theater to make it look like widescreen
when it isn't. Also, this technique is used most often in
creation of 1.85:1 DVD transfers, and why many of those
appear to be grainy(simply because they're blown up to
fit the 'widescreen' rectangle). No need to really make any
pan & scan versions of such films at all any more; just transfer
the ENTIRE frame to DVD, and VOILA! you have a full frame
version of the movie.

Well, well, more Hollywood 'magic'.

[Oscar Antonio M]

Originally posted by MRSMITH
Well, chances are at least that the movie wasn't misframed at
all: what you're probably seeing is about 2/3rds of a 4:3 film
that is matted for theater projection to LOOK like 'widescreen'.

This phony business makes it possible then to use the original
film for ordinary 4:3 analog television purposes without first
making a pan & scan transfer. For whatever the reason,
the 'cover' on the projector for the film probably wasn't
set down properly, so you saw the top portion, or simply more
of the actual 4:3 film than you should have. When the movie
is being filmed, a rectangular box is drawn on the viewfinder
in which the relevant action is supposed to be placed, so
on occasion you'll then see something like a microphone at
top of the frame which is not otherwise to be seen if properly
matted on the theater projector.

I don't know, but it seems that fewer and fewer films are
REAL 'widescreen'(such as 2.35:1, etc.) anymore, simply
because it's cheaper(including for analog TV broadcast
purposes) to just flip down a cover and show a portion of
the 4:3 frame in the theater to make it look like widescreen
when it isn't. Also, this technique is used most often in
creation of 1.85:1 DVD transfers, and why many of those
appear to be grainy(simply because they're blown up to
fit the 'widescreen' rectangle). No need to really make any
pan & scan versions of such films at all any more; just transfer
the ENTIRE frame to DVD, and VOILA! you have a full frame
version of the movie.

Well, well, more Hollywood 'magic'.

While this is all correct. The reason why they are matted are because the director wants to get rid of boom mikes, etc and do a much more natural framing than 1.33 also is because theaters cannot handle the 133 aspect ratio.

[papibear]

Originally posted by MRSMITH
Well, chances are at least that the movie wasn't misframed at
all: what you're probably seeing is about 2/3rds of a 4:3 film
that is matted for theater projection to LOOK like 'widescreen'.

This phony business makes it possible then to use the original
film for ordinary 4:3 analog television purposes without first
making a pan & scan transfer. For whatever the reason,
the 'cover' on the projector for the film probably wasn't
set down properly, so you saw the top portion, or simply more
of the actual 4:3 film than you should have. When the movie
is being filmed, a rectangular box is drawn on the viewfinder
in which the relevant action is supposed to be placed, so
on occasion you'll then see something like a microphone at
top of the frame which is not otherwise to be seen if properly
matted on the theater projector.

I don't know, but it seems that fewer and fewer films are
REAL 'widescreen'(such as 2.35:1, etc.) anymore, simply
because it's cheaper(including for analog TV broadcast
purposes) to just flip down a cover and show a portion of
the 4:3 frame in the theater to make it look like widescreen
when it isn't. Also, this technique is used most often in
creation of 1.85:1 DVD transfers, and why many of those
appear to be grainy(simply because they're blown up to
fit the 'widescreen' rectangle). No need to really make any
pan & scan versions of such films at all any more; just transfer
the ENTIRE frame to DVD, and VOILA! you have a full frame
version of the movie.

Well, well, more Hollywood 'magic'.

Hi, everyone, this is my first post here, by the way, and it's good to be amongst MY KIND!

This whole issue is due to the dreaded cinematographic method known as SUPER35 (as opposed to traditional Panavision anamorphic scope, whereby the actual camera negative has an OAR of 2.35:1, or Academy standard OAR 1.85:1). With Super35, the camera negative has an OAR of roughly 1.33:1, and if the film is to be theatrically displayed in 2.35:1 OAR, it's mostly up to the projectionist to make sure of this by masking the projector properly. Super35 has become popular in the past 20 years pretty much due to the video revolution. As an example, check out "True Lies", both in letterbox and "pan-and-scan", which is not true P&S but is simply the Super35 flat, unmasked version of the shots -- you see the same info on the sides of the image composition in letterbox and "P&S" but you see more TOP and BOTTOM on the full frame version; this is a photographic method which tends to nullify the standard arguments for letterboxed movies, at least for the mundane video commoners. If a film is shot in Super35 (and not all are, thank goodness), sometimes a Full Frame video/DVD can actually provide MORE image information than was seen on the screen (again, top and bottom). It all depends on how the shots are composed and what, if any, variations there are in a Full Frame composition. Suffice to say that if a film is intended for scope exhibition (2.35:1 OAR), then its image composition is also 2.35:1. Same goes for 1.85:1 image composition, 1.66:1, etc.

Personally I find this aggravating, and I've quickly become a non-fan of Super35 as a result. Apparently Jim Cameron is a big fan of the format, and now films that I was under the impression were originally shot in genuine scope (or in some cases, 65mm negative), I've since learned were all shot in Super35 instead (including "Terminator 2" and "Titanic", which I saw 70mm prints of and LOVED -- turns out they were 70mm blow-ups, which is nice but not the same as a 70mm print made from a 65mm camera negative, such as was done for Ron Howard's "Far and Away" -- 65mm camera negative generally equals a higher resolution source; it looks great in 35mm reduction prints, but looks bee-yoo-tee-full in 70mm prints -- 35mm negatives tend to look a bit grainy when blown up to 70mm prints).

This page should help explain the various differences we see in widescreen films that have proliferated throughout the years -- Widescreen Aspect Ratios

By the way, just curious -- any VistaVision fans out there? I recently saw "The Searchers" on TCM and I was simply astounded by the clarity and especially the color vibrancy of the restored VistaVision print!

One day, folks, one day......we will have the theater we really want, and all my fellow film geeks will love it.

And cell phone users will receive one warning and then be ejected from the theater.

[wynterfire]

And cell phone users will receive one warning and then be ejected from the theater.

they should get NO warning. if a cell phone rings, a glass cage should drop from the ceiling to isolate the person from everyone. and they should instantly internally combust like a Spinal Tap drummer.

[Enzian]

There used to be a run-down old theater in Buzzard's Bay, MA. This was a while ago... I was watching The Firm with my parents. Anyway, about halfway through the movie, the film breaks. We waited 10-15 minutes and the movie started back up with horrible picture quality - and in the wrong place.

No one did anything about it. No one rewound the movie or fixed the color. No one was there to greet us at the door apologizing or refunding us our money or giving free tickets. Nada.

[TheKing]

I was reading the Calendar section of the L.A. Times today, and they had an interesting blurb about Britney Spears at Sundance.

She was there with her entourage to see a film starring Holly Hunter. Apparantly the group chatted pretty loud to eachother as well as on cell phones throughtout the screening, and left before the movie was over.

Redford was said to have given her an "if looks can kill" kind of gaze.

It's nice to know celebrities can feel our pain as well sometimes

[YodaTuna]

Originally posted by Enzian

No one did anything about it. No one rewound the movie or fixed the color. No one was there to greet us at the door apologizing or refunding us our money or giving free tickets. Nada.

Uh... You can't rewind movies in a movie projector. Why did you complain about the poor picture quality or anything. And depending on why it broke... it can very easily take up to 15 minutes to fix something like that.

[MurDiddlyUrdler]

Originally posted by YodaTuna
Uh... You can't rewind movies in a movie projector. Why did you complain about the poor picture quality or anything. And depending on why it broke... it can very easily take up to 15 minutes to fix something like that.

Not quite true. You can't rewind films like you would on a VCR, but the projector can be unthreaded and the film can be pulled back to an earlier point. I've done this many times myself.

[orf]

Originally posted by Monterey Jack
When I saw Solaris last week, it was placed next to (get this) The Santa Clause 2, so I could hear that movie better than any of the dialogue in my theater. Even worse was having some mentally impaired person sitting behind me moaning and making bizzare noises throughout the movie

Bit late of a reply, but that DOES suck. When I saw Solaris, though, I was all by myself in the theater, so I guess I consider myself lucky.

I've been pretty lucky with my visits to the multiplex, but the worst one was when I saw Black Hawk Down. In front of me (I went by myself, so I had no one to back me up) were like, 2 girls around my age. (I was 13 at the time)
Anyhow, I knew it was a recipe for destruction (2x11 year old girls + intense war movie = hell in the theater), and I was right. These girls "ewww"ed loudly at every scene with blood, jumped out of the seats during loud, sudden noises, and chatted loudly between each other during the more peaceful scenes (dialogue example: "Josh Hartnett is SOOO cute!"). After a while, I leaned forwards and told them to shut up because I was trying to enjoy the film, and one of them replied "Shut up, we can talk if we want to." They started to raise their decibal level, and I could still hear them quite clearly even after moving a few rows away. So, I went out, talked to the nearest employee, and luckly, he told them to either be quiet or he'll kick them out. They shut up, surprisingly.

That's basically like the only bad ocurrance I've ever had.

[YodaTuna]

Originally posted by MurDiddlyUrdler
Not quite true. You can't rewind films like you would on a VCR, but the projector can be unthreaded and the film can be pulled back to an earlier point. I've done this many times myself.

True enough, I've done it myself... but it's usually far too time consuming for the projectionist to do that so it rarely happens and if you ask a theatre employee to rewind a movie, they will look at you like you're an idiot. In any event the guy who was watching The Firm probably only missed a few seconds and it just switched scenes.

[Mac]

Uh... Hi.

I work at a movie theatre, which makes me an apparent minority here.

I honestly have a HUGE respect for silence during movies. If a customer comes out and says someone is talking, or doing some other annoying thing, I go take care of it. No questions asked.

If I'm actually going to KICK SOMEONE OUT, I have to get a manager to do it. But I can ask someone to take their cell phone call outside, baby outside, etc.

I used to be a projectionist. The only time I ever knowingly screwed up a film was when I forgot to change the lens on Thomas and the Magic Railroad and didn't realize it until it was in the movie. (We had manually change lenses, that you have to pul out and replace-- Takes about 15-30 seconds). There were only 2 people in the theatre, and it was the only showing of it so I'd have to change it in an hour anyway, so I just said heck with it.

I'm probably your dream employee. I'm also a moviegoer so I see things from the perspective of a moviegoer a lot.

You guys left Ghetto Black People off of your list.

They're loud, they talk to the movie, and they refuse to do whatever other people ask them to do. Sometimes, they do inexplainable shit.

Stuff I've seen in movie theatres (or experienced)

1) A woman was talking to Signs. When I asked her to stop, she told me to fuck off.

2) People dancing in Barbershop. (no joke)

3) A man urinating on another man in 8 Mile.

4) A group of kids wasting all their parents money on food only to randomly TRASH the theatre. These kids were banned from that theatre, and are still banned. They spent about 50 dollars on random stuff, and didn't eat/drink any of it.

5) People having sex in Halloween Resurrection. They kept doing it even while I was looking at them, trying to figure out how to ask them to stop. I thought about poking them with a stick.

and this was just freaky as shit...

6) I closed projection one night, and didn't prethread. The next morning when I opened, all my movies were threaded.

Weird.

[Mac]

Originally posted by MurDiddlyUrdler
Not quite true. You can't rewind films like you would on a VCR, but the projector can be unthreaded and the film can be pulled back to an earlier point. I've done this many times myself.

Then you should be fired.

1) From a projectionist to a projectionist, you have just violated the code. We are not supposed to admit on ANY level that we can rewind movies.

2) Technically, it's not rewinding, it's back threading, and it's a pain in the ass and it's not worth the effort. There isn't a little button you can press.

3) Customers who ask if a movie can be rewound are morons, and therefore if they THINK we can rewind movies, they become MORE of a moron.

4) Would you like to rewind 20 minutes of a movie? No. I didn't think so.

[MurDiddlyUrdler]

Originally posted by Mac
Then you should be fired.

1) From a projectionist to a projectionist, you have just violated the code. We are not supposed to admit on ANY level that we can rewind movies.

Calm down there, Mac. This is an internet forum. I'm just stating the facts. If that's a problem for you, deal with it.

Originally posted by Mac
2) Technically, it's not rewinding, it's back threading, and it's a pain in the ass and it's not worth the effort. There isn't a little button you can press.

It's really not that difficult if you know what you're doing. If there's a problem with a film and it needs to be brought back a minute or two, I can get it done in just a couple minutes. Sure it's more work than the patrons think it would be, but it definitely isn't difficult.

Originally posted by Mac
3) Customers who ask if a movie can be rewound are morons, and therefore if they THINK we can rewind movies, they become MORE of a moron.

Explain to me how someone becomes "MORE" of a moron if they have MORE knowledge. Please.

Originally posted by Mac

4) Would you like to rewind 20 minutes of a movie? No. I didn't think so.

I've rewound movies many times, but never had to rewind that much. If you have a problem with a film you should know about it before 20 minutes pass and therefore you wouldn't need to replay that much film. The only reason I could think of to have to "rewind" that much film would be if you started a film too early and need to restart it at the right time. In that case it's quite simple to take what has run through the projector and drop it back into what's left in the sending platter.

All of this stuff is really simple. I don't mind giving a little bit of effort to please a patron.

[marty]

2 things theatres should do
- buy and install the cell phone/beeper blockers
- Charge full price for all tickets to non G rated movies
including babies who will be held
including children

[orf]

Originally posted by marty

- Charge full price for all tickets to non G rated movies

NO.
I live on afternoon matinee prices, so there is no way I can agree with you there. I refuse to pay full prices for tickets during the afternoon with paying ungodly high prices for popcorn/drinks in the first place (even though I rarely ever get any popcorn or something to drink when I see a movie... distracts me from the movie).

[MiddleEarthGirl]

I actually saw people making out during Chicago(Cell Block Tango number)

[retroboy]

While it is true that arthouse theatres have well-behaved patrons (god, if I could see the mainstream films in arthouses I would!), I had a bad experience in my favorite arthouse, the Uptown, recently.

My fiancee and I caught Pedro Almodovar's Talk to Her on opening night here in Calgary. Almodovar is one of my favorite filmmakers, so I was anticipating a stimulating two-hour cinematic experience.

Sadly, two gentlemen directly behind us began a conversation about Spanish history and culture. Throughout the film, these Spanish enthusiasts talked loudly about bullfighting, Franco and his fascist lackeys, the cost of renting apartments in Madrid, etc. Both men seemed genuinely startled when my fiancee and I turned around and glared, but they continued their noisy dialogue.

Because of the constant distraction, I couldn't enjoy the film; we attended a second showing the next day.

Needless to say I left the Uptown in a very bad mood and quietly seethed (until we drank a few pints at our pub and I began to rant about cinematic bad manners).

Speaking of cell phones, I recall several on-screen warnings to turn off cell phones before screenings whenever I ventured into multiplex hell, but I haven't seen them recently.

[Marq]

Originally posted by Mac
You guys left Ghetto Black People off of your list.
They're loud, they talk to the movie, and they refuse to do whatever other people ask them to do. Sometimes, they do inexplainable shit.

Wow....

Originally posted by Mac
3) A man urinating on another man in 8 Mile.

A whole different kind of Wow! Golden showers...

[Marty DiBergi]

Some fat chick sits down next to me just as the lights go down and opens up the STINKIEST F'ING MEATBALL HERO sandwitch and starts to mack on it, loudly.

[Marty DiBergi]

Originally posted by marty
2 things theatres should do
- buy and install the cell phone/beeper blockers
- Charge full price for all tickets to non G rated movies
including babies who will be held
including children

cell phone scramblers are illegal by FCC regs in the USA.

not that I personally own both a portable (theater) and a car-installed one. no definately not.

[esc]

i went with 2 friends to see Gods and Generals on opening day and there was a guy sitting right behind us sniffing and snorting every few seconds like he had a really bad cold. after the previews and 10 minutes into the movie i figured that for sure that his lungs would be filled up with fluid and he'd be done snorting and snorking any second, but he just kept on going. my friend handed him a bunch of napkins. the guy looked at him like he had just been handed a dead fish, and kept on sniffleing.
i moved down about 10 rows so i was uncomfortably close to the screen and i figured i was safe from the snuffeluffagus. i enjoied the movie for about 5 minutes and then ... snOOOOOOOrt! sniff sniff. snOOOOOOrt. i could still hear him during the quiet scenes.
i began to weep, and a few people got up and left. i am not sure if it was because of the quality of the film or the guy 10 rows back.

[Oscar Antonio M]

Well i recently had 2 similar but not necessairly bad experiences:

Seabiscuit-At the Cinemark i usually attend to. The trailers sounded loud enough (Specially the Peter Pan one,wow) but then when the film started i barely could hear anything of the narration, but the volume did turn up a bit in other scenes but the bottom of the picture was misframed and i couldnt see some of the subtitles. Also there was this little girl who kept playing like she was one of the horse racers, ugh.

28 Days Later- This was a Dollar theater, everyone was quiet enough and paying attention to the film, even though some girls in front of me did some giggling in the nude scenes, but still they were quiet enough and didnt cause any trouble and also the sound was surprisingly good, but since it was shot Open-Matte, the projectionist had to mask off the top and bottom of the frame to fit the 1.85:1 aspect ratio but there was way too much image on the top and you could see wires, camera mattes and boom mikes and also if a character was placed in the bottom of the framing you couldnt see him or if he was talking you couldnt see his or her mouth.

[Cap42086]

Well, I have a couple more experiences that I'd like to share (and no, it did not occur on a date, so rest at ease (and my deepest apologies for those comments I made almost a year ago, I have since grown up)):

1.) When I went to Freddy Vs. Jason for the second time (hey, I was invited and the kid paid for my ticket), some idiot behind us jumped and screamed at every little jump scene. On top of that, here are some random quotes of dialogue from that person: "Oh, shit! Watch out!" "Oh, my God, it's Freddy! Wait, is that Jason? No, it can't be. It's gotta be Freddy!" (This were actual words spoken by that person.) "Holy shit! He just got totally fucking cut in half!" "Isn't that the girl from Destiny's Child?"

2.) I had received free passes to Legally Blonde 2 (which I regret seeing, by the way). About half way through, some asshole behind me started making these masturbatory sounds (he was flapping his cheeks together) whenever Reese Witherspoon spoke and then laughed hysterically to his companion at the action. My friend and I turned around and told him to stop, at which point he laughed at us. When he kept doing it, we asked him again to stop, then he spit on my friend. Then I decided to go Fear and Loathing on him and say, "Hey, look! Two women fucking a polar bear!" He turned around like an idiot (I still can't believe that worked) which gave me the opportunity to punch him right in the face. Needless to say, he stopped for the rest of the film.

3.) At 28 Days later (when the alternate ending was released), the scene where Jim is first walking around London, about six ghetto thugs walk into the movie laughing and talking. They were blocking the screen and being really rude (which goes without saying). They sat down, then about ten minutes later, they loudly proclaimed, and I quote, "Man, this movie fucking sucks! I thought we were gonna see some bangin' zombies eating people's brains and shit!" They then walked out and once again blocked the screen and talked very loudly. I really didn't want to say anything to them because I was afraid I was going to get shot.

[Frank Gunn]

You guys left Ghetto Black People off of your list.
They're loud, they talk to the movie, and they refuse to do whatever other people ask them to do. Sometimes, they do inexplainable shit.

Wow.

Oh, come on, we were *all* thinking it. You haven't lived until you've tried to watch something even remotely "black-themed" in Ecorse, Michigan. 'Training Day', for instance, was a real hoot. "Whoo-wee, that Denzel sho' is a handsome maaaan!" This, of course, punctuated the scene where he thrashes a couple of crackheads. Yeah, he's handsome. Talk about it later, ma'am.

As for my theater experiences, back in the dark days of what-the-hell-is-stadium-seating, I would sit in the seats that didn't have seats in front of them because I'm a tall fellow. The seats weren't there because the spaces were reserved for disabled people, and it had never been an issue. Well, 'Pulp Fiction' finally opens after months of slobbering anticipation for it, and in rolls somebody hooked to a respirator of some sort. He parks his chair right in front of me, just wheezing away the whole time like Darth freakin' Vader. HOOOOO-perrrrrr, HOOOOO-perrrrrrrrr...

I suffered for awhile, but then I moved. I felt like an asshole, but I moved.

[Cap42086]

Originally Posted by Frank Gunn

As for my theater experiences, back in the dark days of what-the-hell-is-stadium-seating, I would sit in the seats that didn't have seats in front of them because I'm a tall fellow. The seats weren't there because the spaces were reserved for disabled people, and it had never been an issue. Well, 'Pulp Fiction' finally opens after months of slobbering anticipation for it, and in rolls somebody hooked to a respirator of some sort. He parks his chair right in front of me, just wheezing away the whole time like Darth freakin' Vader. HOOOOO-perrrrrr, HOOOOO-perrrrrrrrr...

I suffered for awhile, but then I moved. I felt like an asshole, but I moved.

I had a similiar experience at Bad Boys 2. I sat in front of the bar reserved for handicapped people and couldn't see above his monsterously huge chair, nor could I hear the previews over his ridiculous chatter. So my brother and I moved down.

Come to think of it, if I had stayed behind that poor guy in the wheelchair, I probably would have had a better time instead of doing what I did do: paid attention to the movie.

So yeah, I kind of felt like an asshole, too.

[Frank Gunn]

At the local cineplex, they have automated ticket sellers. You know, you pop your credit card in, tell it what you want, and it spits out tickets. For some reason, *nobody* seems to use these things; people will line up dozens deep at the ticket counter, but these machines are always open. Even better, you can purchase children’s tickets for three dollars less, and nine times out of ten, the kid taking tickets either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. Needless to say, I’m a big fan of the automated ticket sellers.

So Mrs. Gunn and I went to see ‘Once Upon A Time In Mexico’ on Saturday afternoon. We were ambling up to the ticket-taker with our discount children’s tickets, freshly purchased from the automated ticket-seller, and instead of finding our old reliable pal, Kid-In-The-Wheelchair-Who-Doesn’t-Give-A-Fuck, it’s… Ryan, Supervisor. There it is, emblazoned proudly on his name-tag, which, mind you, is a different color than the other employees’ name-tags. 20 years old and this Ryan, Supervisor is already a major player at Celebration Cinemas, a position of untrumped power no doubt attained through myriad Machiavellian maneuverings.

He saw us coming from a mile away.

RYAN, SUPERVISOR: Good afternoon, folks.

FRANK (genial): Hi!

(Ryan, Supervisor examines our tickets.)

RYAN, SUPERVISOR: Hmmm… these are children’s tickets. You’ll have to exchange them for matinee tickets.

(Mrs. Gunn and Frank look at one another, then back at Ryan, Supervisor.)

MRS. GUNN (Oscar clip): Oh, I’m sorry, I, uh, must’ve gotten the wrong ones.

FRANK: That’s okay, darling. I can see where you’d make that mistake, since “matinee” tickets cost just as much as “evening” tickets.

(Ryan, Supervisor is unflapped. Mrs. Gunn and Frank walk away.)

MRS. GUNN: Oooh, I’m *RYAN*, I’m the *SUPERVISOR*!

FRANK: Oh, and I’m not just here to regulate, I’m here to *supervise*!

MRS. GUNN: You big supervisor!

FRANK: Supervise! Sup, sup-sup-sup, sup-supervise!

MRS. GUNN: We totally just got supervised.

(Mrs. Gunn and Frank wait in line at the ticket counter for an eternity. There is one girl, one clueless girl selling tickets on this Saturday afternoon. They finally reach the front of the line.)

COUNTER-GIRL: Hi, welcome to Celebration Cinemas.

FRANK: Yeah, Ryan over there? You know, the *Supervisor*? He said we had to exchange these for *matinee* tick-…

(The phone rings. Counter-girl picks it up.)

COUNTER-GIRL: Showcase Cinemas, this is Counter-Girl, how can I help you?

(Mrs. Gunn and Frank look at each other, shrug. Counter-girl listens intently.)

COUNTER-GIRL: ‘Once Upon A Time In Mexico’ is playing at 5:15, 5:45, 7:45, 8:15, 10:15, 10:45, and midnight. Tomorrow? Tomorrow it’s playing at 12:50, that’s 12:50 in the afternoon, and then again at…

FRANK AND MRS. GUNN (in unison): Jesus Christ.

(Counter-girl listens intently before starting in on the times for ‘Matchstick Men’ and ‘Cabin Fever’, and then ticket prices.)

MRS. GUNN (to Frank): Doesn’t this place have a movie hotline?

FRANK (to Mrs. Gunn): Well, I guess we’ll just have to ask Ryan Bad-ass Supervisor about that.

MRS. GUNN: And doesn’t this idiot on the phone have an internet connection?

(Mrs. Gunn and Frank shrug at one another. Counter-Girl is still giving ticket prices, and then, if you can believe this, directions. Finally, Frank leans across the counter.)

FRANK (shouting into phone): Hey, call back later, ya jag-off!

(As if to punctuate, Mrs. Gunn cackles with delight, and even the gang-banger types behind us who’d been “Got-DAMMMN!!!!”ing the whole time seemed to approve. Counter-Girl at long last asks the caller to hold, takes our six bucks, exchanges the tickets, and apologizes for the “mix-up”. Mrs. Gunn and Frank strut on over to Ryan.)

RYAN, SUPERVISOR (tearing the tickets with smug satisfaction): That’s better.

“That’s better.” No shit. He really said that. You could see the fire in Mrs. Gunn’s eyes. I thought she was gonna beat the guy to the fucking floor. When she suggested we wait for him out in the parking lot, I had to make sure she was kidding.

So yeah, we probably poisoned the well on that one. Ryan will probably call a meeting and warn all the people he supervises that they need to be on the lookout for people pulling the children’s ticket scam. To make up for it, we sneaked into ‘Cabin Fever’ afterwards, just to make Ryan’s day.