Horrifying Multiplex Sights and Sounds

[Monterey Jack]

Great AICN talkback...

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/32353

[Brikar99]

Originally Posted by iluvalex

Sat behind an older couple where the woman incessantly talked. ... They then must have hauled ass to catch up with me to meet me outside. The guy asked me what my problem was. I said, you two were talking throughout the whole movie. Without blinking an eye, he said no they weren't.

WTF!!!

Rude, ignorant morons.

"You're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre."

[Monterey Jack]

My showing of The Invasion yesterday was marred when I notice the exit door at the back of the theater opening, and two guys sneaking in. Then, I was subjected to them very loudly arguing with an usher (who, bizarrely, appeared to have let them in ) about "where are your tickets" and "you can't leave through the exit, you have to leave through here", ect. Then, two more ushers walked down the aisle to the back of the theater to close the exit doors. Arrrgghhh......

[Monterey Jack]

The Assassination Of Jesse James Yadda Yadda Yadda...Fatass people loudly CLOMPING down the aisles in search of more junk food, crinkling popcorn bag behind me, loud commentary like "NOW he's gonna get it!", some STINKY-ASS BODY ODOR wafting at me... I won't know if I truly liked the movie until I can watch it in blessed silence on DVD...

[rixrex]

All good reasons why I never go to a movie anymore on opening weekend.

When I was younger, I couldn't afford it and had to see movies at the second run cheap theaters. Now I can afford it but can't stand the 10% of the movie crowd that thinks they are still home or that they own the theater.

Since I'm not a teen anymore going on dates where I try to impress my date with a first-run first-day movie, I'll go after the big rush to see a film when the theater is less than half full. A bit more comfortable.

I remember one incident where I went to a theater that ended up with a pretty good-sized crowd, and of course somebody has a baby too. After a while, the baby starts bawling but the parents won't take the baby out of the theater. They try to keep the baby quiet in the theater without a lot of success.

I'm sure a lot of people are wishing they'd get up and take the baby out but nobody says anything for quite a while. Then suddenly somebody says, "Hey, please take the baby out so we can watch the movie!" and that was all that was needed to get everyone else to chime in, but they still don't move.

The somebody in a really gruff, gangster style voice says, "Kill the baby!" and boy did they get up and move, and not come back. Then I couldn't hear what was going on in the movie because of all the laughter.

[Monterey Jack]

Oh yeah, forgot to mention the HUGE, BONE-CRACKING YAWNS some asshole kept emiting every five minutes, as if to communicate to everyone in earshot either "This movie is boring as fuck and I want everyone to know it" or "I just rolled out of bed 20 minutes before the movie started". I mean, Christ, it is possible to have a discrete, quiet yawn.

[Monterey Jack]

Recent, jam-packed showing of Before The Devil Knows You're Dead...a pair of jerkoffs behind me clearly have bad colds, so I'm treated to the lovely sounds of one of them VERY LOUDLY clearing his throat every few minutes ("Hump-hump-hump-HA-RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMPH!!!") and the other blowing her nose into a tissue a few times. The theater was so crowded that, if I wanted to change seats, I'd be stuck in one of the first rows, so I was stuck with the two assholes who sounded like they were afflicted with Captain Trips from The Stand. Christ...

[Monterey Jack]

Originally Posted by Brikar99

And since I live just outside of Boston, every time we were introduced to a new character with a thick Boston accent, someone would shout, "Damn it! We don't all talk like that!"

Shouldn't that read, "Gawd dammit, we don't awl tawk like dat"?

[SilentBob]

Well i have yet another story to tell. Its not personal movie watching but bad parenting skillz. I was helping the theater close down the floor and noticed a lady outside the doors tapping to get in. She was wearing a pink poncho (or blanket) and slipper like shoes. She said she was out there for 10 minutes smoking and waiting to get in to see if her kid fell asleep in Saw 4 to take him home. Yes you heard me. Her kid (maybe 11-13) in Saw 4 and she expects them to fall asleep, but there's more. As i'm walking down the hall with her she told me that she originally brought him to see American Gangster with her, but thought it was "Too intense, had a bit of nudity, and too realistic for her son to watch. It is based on a true story which he knows" So she said that she had seen Saw the original movie and knew that her son could tell this stuff was all fake and wasn't as intense for him. Anyways the son was wide awake and she drove home for 30 minutes until his movie endinga nd came back about 10 minutes after it got out to pick him up. It was 12:15 am and she left her son by himself to wait for her outside at night to be picked up and not wait the actual 30 minutes to take him home. In fact the kid shouldn't of been allowed in the theater to see it by himself but i'm a booth guy what do i know about floor work anymore.

[Monterey Jack]

Saw Beowulf the other day, and there was this guy who, in a nearly-empty theater that must have been able to seat 300 people, decides to not only sit in the row in front of me, but also in the very seat in front of me. Not only that, but then he spends at least a hour's worth of the movie constantly looking at his cell phone screen, blinding me with the distracting glare. Who spends $10.50 for a 3D movie and spends half of it text-messaging? Not to mention the couple a few seats away who quipped "It's gonna be Shrek...!" just before Grendel shows up, and who started discussing the film LOUDLY before it had even ended. Gah...!

[iluvalex]

Originally Posted by Monterey Jack

Saw Beowulf the other day, and there was this guy who, in a nearly-empty theater that must have been able to seat 300 people, decides to not only sit in the row in front of me, but also in the very seat in front of me. Not only that, but then he spends at least a hour's worth of the movie constantly looking at his cell phone screen, blinding me with the distracting glare. Who spends $10.50 for a 3D movie and spends half of it text-messaging? Not to mention the couple a few seats away who quipped "It's gonna be Shrek...!" just before Grendel shows up, and who started discussing the film LOUDLY before it had even ended. Gah...!

Quite simply he had more fun f*cking with ya, than watching the flick.

[sub780lime]

Originally Posted by Monterey Jack

Saw Beowulf the other day, and there was this guy who, in a nearly-empty theater that must have been able to seat 300 people, decides to not only sit in the row in front of me, but also in the very seat in front of me. Not only that, but then he spends at least a hour's worth of the movie constantly looking at his cell phone screen, blinding me with the distracting glare. Who spends $10.50 for a 3D movie and spends half of it text-messaging? Not to mention the couple a few seats away who quipped "It's gonna be Shrek...!" just before Grendel shows up, and who started discussing the film LOUDLY before it had even ended. Gah...!

Another Beowulf one. There was a group (pretty large - maybe 8 people) who were sitting a few rows up from us in what was a somewhat full theater. The guy made one funny comment early in the movie and he tried for a repeat performance through the entire freakin movie. You would think you might notice if no one is laughing at what you are saying. It's a hint, shut the hell up!

[chiprocks1]

They still have theathers? Where you can actually go to, to watch movies? This is news to me.

[Jesse C.]

For what I paid to go see a movie for two I can now actually just own the movie and watch it at home without the shitheads and the crappy food.

Not only that, but the quality of the film, the old theaters who have not moved to digital, can be downright crap! Scratched film, shitty sound and someones nachos plastered all over the screen, yeah, that really did happen once!

I will only see certain movie in the theater anymore, the ones that just beg to be seen on the big screen, otherwise, its all home theater now.

[Monterey Jack]

Fucking Ghetto Thugz[tm] ruining my birthday matinee of The Incredible Hulk...

[reading screen] "Silenze iz golden...dat meanz...SHUT DA FUG UP!"

Heed you own fucking advice, you inconsiderate PRICKS!!!

[Monterey Jack]

[Lou Ferrigno cameo]

"Yo, FER-RIG-NO! Dude still big...!"

[shot of Liv Tyler lying in bed]

"Jump on dat!"

[Robert Downy Jr. cameo]

"Whoa, dat eye-run man! Whut he doin' in dis?"

[Pirate]

At a Get Smart show Sunday night:

A few rows ahead of where I was sitting, there was a family: a mom, a dad, a 5-year-old and an infant.

Behind me, near the back row, there was a group of teenagers.

Can you guess which group was louder?

If you said "teenagers," you'd be . . . CORRECT! What do we have for them Johnny?!




P.S. Did you guys know that the word "cock" is right there in the title for Hancock?

[raptors661]

Originally Posted by Pirate

At a Get Smart show Sunday night:





P.S. Did you guys know that the word "cock" is right there in the title for Hancock?

*GASP*
People like that make me hate the fact that i was a teenager.

[sub780lime]

Originally Posted by Pirate

P.S. Did you guys know that the word "cock" is right there in the title for Hancock?

Thank goodness you pointed that out to us, I might have missed it Theater going gets more and more annoying by the day.

In my Hulk showing, there was a dad with two kids right in front of us. Instead of sitting each kids on the other side of the dad, the youngest kid was on the outside and he talked through the entire credits. I was seriously getting annoyed, if it continued when the movie started, I was going to say something. Luckily a nice old man that had been glancing over each time the kids talked, leaned over and told him to "Shut the F*ck up!". Okay, not really, but he told him to be quiet while the movie was going. It just pisses me off that someone else has to do this and the dad sits there like nothing is going on. Come on! If you are going to subject your kids to everyone, at least be courteous about it.

[Monterey Jack]

At least really young kids have something of an excuse for talking and getting too excited at a movie (especially if it's a scary PG-13). 20-something, gangbanger assholes have NO excuse.

"EYE-RON Man."

EYE-RON.

[sub780lime]

Originally Posted by Monterey Jack

At least really young kids have something of an excuse for talking and getting too excited at a movie (especially if it's a scary PG-13). .[/size]

The kids do, but the parents do not.

[ganthc]

I have recently been going to a theater that is a 2 minute walk from my office at work. The theater is run down a bit, and doesn't have great sound or picture. But it doesn't seem to attract the teenie-boppers and the parents with babies. I can sit in the seat (which is not stadium, highbacked seating) and just watch the movie without disruption. It's actually nice, and a dollar cheaper than the bigger theaters.

Now that ticket prices are $10-11 bucks, theater going will fall even further.

[sub780lime]

We are lucky to still have a cheap theater ($5), though I usually don't go, but my wife does a lot.

[ganthc]

Originally Posted by sub780lime

We are lucky to still have a cheap theater ($5), though I usually don't go, but my wife does a lot.

Doesn't tomdkat go to that theater too? You better be careful!

[mighty mint]

Lastest for me was during opening night of Wall*E (I know, I was insane to go.) Family in front of us loaded their kids with softdrinks, candy and popcorn. About 40 minutes from the end of the movie one of the kids blew chunks. The movie was so good that I didn't even notice until the worker from the theater with the mop came. Then I realized that the whole row emptied out and was standing alongside the wall. The best part, was that my nephew who sat directly behind the little piggish upchucker didn't even realize what had happened until we were discussing it on the ride home. He was so into the movie he didn't even notice the lady with the mop!

[sub780lime]

Originally Posted by ganthc

Doesn't tomdkat go to that theater too? You better be careful!

I am always on the look out for a Saturn when I leave the house.

[Mrs. Sub780lime]

Originally Posted by sub780lime

We are lucky to still have a cheap theater ($5), though I usually don't go, but my wife does a lot.

Actually, it's $3...
But only shows old movies.

[sub780lime]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Sub780lime

Actually, it's $3...
But only shows old movies.

man, that is cheap. Maybe I should actually go....

[Monterey Jack]

Not really a "worst" experience in the strictest sense of the word, but I saw Quantum Of Solace this past weekend with my brother's wife (a fellow 007 fan who loved Casino Royale), and what does she do? She sits there, dutifully watching all the trailers (which, of course, ran for 15-20 minutes), then gets up to use the restroom just as the film was about to start. By the time she got back to her seat, she had quite literally missed the entire opening car chase! She also ran out again and missed a good 5-minute chunk of the movie right in the middle somewhere.

I realize this isn't on the same level as cell phone abusers and crying babies, but I'm always distracted when someone gets out of their seat and leaves the theater during the film, and particularly if it's the person you came with! In some weird way, it negatively affects my experience knowing the person you came with is missing some of the movie, and that'll you'll have to whisper an explanation of what he/she missed when they get back. I realize some people aren't as fanatically dedicated to The Theater Experience as I am and neglect to take pre-show measures to avoid a mid-movie bathroom run (I never, EVER eat or drink ANYTHING the morning of the day I'm planning to see a movie, especially if the film runs over 2 hours), but it still aggrivates me. So then I had to explain what scene(s) she missed (including the Goldfinger homage). Grrrrr. Oh well, at least she didn't force me to exit the theater the second the film's end credits started up (always annoying...dude, you've been sitting in the dark for two hours, will another six or seven minutes really kill you?).

[Monterey Jack]

And just for a good theater experience...I saw Bolt yesterday, steeling myself for the usual onslaught of shrieking five-year-olds and cell phone screens flashing in my face...and found the theater completely empty. Yeah, two people eventually came in, but both were in their 30's/40's, and didn't make a peep.



AWESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME.

[MooglePorn]

Originally Posted by Monterey Jack

AWESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME.

Not in Disney's opinion.

[Monterey Jack]

Originally Posted by MooglePorn

Not in Disney's opinion.

Granted. I dunno what's wrong when a movie as good as Bolt likely won't break $30 million this weekend when fucking Madagascar 2 did over $60 mil it's opening weekend.

[MooglePorn]

Originally Posted by Monterey Jack

Granted. I dunno what's wrong when a movie as good as Bolt likely won't break $30 million this weekend when fucking Madagascar 2 did over $60 mil it's opening weekend.

Don't ask me, I have no interest in either of them.

That phone commercial with the monkey and the penguin is cute though.

[Monterey Jack]

Some older stories I remember...

-1995: I viewed most of the helicopter climax of Outbreak with the picture screwed up so the top of the image was at the bottom of the screen! Ditto one several-minute stretch of The Patriot five years later.

-1996: Mission: Impossible unspools for nearly two hours without a hitch, but then, during the train/helicopter climax, just as Tom Cruise has stuck the gum/explosives to the helicopter cockpit and is getting ready to jump back onto the train...the movie abruptly cuts off and is replaced by the pre-show trivia bullshit and muzak! You should have heard the roars of audience disapproval at that. They did manage to get it fixed about five minutes later, but the effect had been pretty much ruined.

[Titleist]

Worst I experienced was seeing Man on the Moon (1999) with some friends. We went to a 10pm showing at a decent theater. The seats were about half filled, and the moving is doing fine till the last 10-15 minutes when the film locks up, shutters for a second, then actually melts. I did work as a projectionist one summer and I never saw film actually melt. Anyways, so this being a movie about Andy Kaufman we're all sitting there waiting for the gag. Like this is part of the movie, like somehow the movie will start again and the jokes on us. 25 minutes roll by and management tells us all to go home, as the film really did break.

Personally had the film breaking been part of the movie it would have been a decent way to end the story. hah

[SilentBob]

Originally Posted by Titleist

Worst I experienced was seeing Man on the Moon (1999) with some friends. We went to a 10pm showing at a decent theater. The seats were about half filled, and the moving is doing fine till the last 10-15 minutes when the film locks up, shutters for a second, then actually melts. I did work as a projectionist one summer and I never saw film actually melt. Anyways, so this being a movie about Andy Kaufman we're all sitting there waiting for the gag. Like this is part of the movie, like somehow the movie will start again and the jokes on us. 25 minutes roll by and management tells us all to go home, as the film really did break.

Personally had the film breaking been part of the movie it would have been a decent way to end the story. hah

It would of of been a cool Howdy Doody type of moments. Oh and the film melt is a pretty bad smell (sound like a reel change, bad splice and film jumping out of sprockets)


I remember (sadly) watching Batman and Robin at my cheapie theater in town ($2.50 matinee Tuesday) and we had no sound or picture for about 10-15 minutes as they forgot to activate or have the 2nd projector ready to go once the first one was done.

[thomashton]

This past weekend I went to see Quantum of Solace.

The theatre is usually pretty good. However, for this showing the whole movie seemed slightly out of focus, the sound would pop in and out louder and softer, and the picture would do something similar . . . only visually. It was really quite the crappy experience. Fortunately I saw it for free thanks to the movie cash on the dvd.

[SilentBob]

Originally Posted by thomashton

This past weekend I went to see Quantum of Solace.

The theatre is usually pretty good. However, for this showing the whole movie seemed slightly out of focus, the sound would pop in and out louder and softer, and the picture would do something similar . . . only visually. It was really quite the crappy experience. Fortunately I saw it for free thanks to the movie cash on the dvd.

Well the film does seem to have a slight soft look to it from the 2 prints i have seen at work. Your sound issue seems to be the film track. As the film plays on the Dolby Digital track will wear down, but should still have DD track working. (especially being this young of a film, but could be a result of bad tension strap cleaning) So sometimes something becomes tight and slightly strips away the DD track and the sound processor will pick up on it and skip in and out of the DD and a back up analog Dolby SR track. Dolby Digital being much louder overall then the Dolby SR and would explain your sound issue.

[Brikar99]

Originally Posted by Monterey Jack

Some older stories I remember...

-1995: I viewed most of the helicopter climax of Outbreak with the picture screwed up so the top of the image was at the bottom of the screen! Ditto one several-minute stretch of The Patriot five years later.

-1996: Mission: Impossible unspools for nearly two hours without a hitch, but then, during the train/helicopter climax, just as Tom Cruise has stuck the gum/explosives to the helicopter cockpit and is getting ready to jump back onto the train...the movie abruptly cuts off and is replaced by the pre-show trivia bullshit and muzak! You should have heard the roars of audience disapproval at that. They did manage to get it fixed about five minutes later, but the effect had been pretty much ruined.

When I saw "The Matrix" back in 1999, just after the fight in the subway station, when Neo is running through a crowded square, the screen goes white. After a few minutes, it comes back on, Neo runs through the square, gunshots going off, agents everywhere.

Then he's running through the hotel, towards his promised exit... screen goes white.

Theatre manager comes in to ask us to be patient, they're fixing it, and we'll all get free passes for our trouble.

The movie comes back on a solid 15 minutes later, all momentum gone. It's a good thing the movie had been awesome up until then, prompting me to use my free pass to go back the next weekend to see it uninterrupted.

[Monterey Jack]

Saw I Love You, Man today, and the movie is out of focus for the entire running time. I complain on my way out, and the guy shrugs and says "Uhhh, no one came out to complain". Yeah, because I didn't want to miss five minutes of the movie tracking your ass down!