CAP Movie Reviews: Religious Nutheads Inside!

[Lenny Nero]

Hahhaah, OH MY ..um, I gotta find a substitute for "God" there, but anyway, I haven't laughed this hard for a while.

You've got to check this site out, it's a ChildCare Action Project: Christian Analysis of American Culture (CAP), they meticulously review popular movies rating them on content based on how many counts of each of the following is in it:

Wanton Violence/Crime
Impudence/Hate
Sex/Homosexuality
Drugs/Alcohol
Offense to God
Murder/Suicide

... and they're really obsessive about it.
There are a couple 100 movies reviewed in there with American Psycho getting ZERO points hehe.
I've only read a few, here is a couple of snippets from Cruel Intentions:

"I left 22 minutes after the first scene; it was that offensive. "
"The first 22 minutes of the "Cruel Intentions" was a sex show. Some nudity but a few tons of sexual talk. Just about every sentence was about sexual conquest, offerings, attempts, barterings, urges....... The last scene I watched presented a "seasoned" girl teaching an innocent girl about how to kiss. At first, the two girls engaged in a light kiss. Then the seasoned girl told the innocent girl "Now I am going to stick my tongue in your mouth - you massage it with yours." And that they did! At such an angle that was CLEARLY to maximize visuals to the audience. "
"The worst part of the movie was seeing and hearing the reactions of the audience. The building sometimes shook with the thundering laughter and hoots from kids who I doubt would have known what they were laughing at until they came to this movie. About half of them were clearly under 17 years old. One girl was about 6 years old. Of the few audience comments I could understand, one of the most tame comments was from an underage teen boy: "Everybody wants to see a little ------" But the worst part of it all was I could "feel" the childhood of those young kids being ripped from them.......and it hurt.

And sometime ago I warned you that some of the previews of other shows can be as vulgar as the feature presentation. One of the trailers preceding "Cruel Intentions" had two boys discussing sexual intercourse. The "experienced" boy described the act to the "inexperienced" boy as "your mother's warm apple pie." You can probably guess what the boy did with his mother's apple pie. It's getting bad, folks and you'll see it all if you go to see "Cruel Intentions."

And here is one of the sections:
Sex/Homosexuality (S):

sexual background music
sex talk: conquests, requests, offers, barters, innuendo, maneuvers, mannerisms and motions
suggestive eye movement
planning deceitful maneuvers using sex
inappropriate touch
exceptionally vulgar sexual invitation
homosexuality, detailed discussion of homosexual encounter, suggestion to participate in a homosexual act
same-sex kissing, including open mouth kissing followed by an offer of a homosexual encounter

Anyway, you get the picture, Caaawraauzeee!
Go ahead to the site itself and be amused: http://www.capalert.com/

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"All you need to make a movie is a girl and a gun." - Jean Luc Godard

[TheBlackKnight]

But the worst part of it all was I could "feel" the childhood of those young kids being ripped from them.......and it hurt

Oh, how I laughed.

Some people, eh? As if they know what's good for kids!

suggestive eye movement

[gasp]

My, the depravity of it all! I mean, what is civilisation coming to?!?!

[This message has been edited by TheBlackKnight (edited 12-03-2001).]

[Nexus 6]

I have nothing against a resource for parents who want to try to monitor what their children watch, but this is a little on the obsessive side.

[LBPound23]

Originally posted by Nexus 6:
I have nothing against a resource for parents who want to try to monitor what their children watch, but this is a little on the obsessive side.

Yes, CAP definitely has no credibility. It gave Toy Story 2 a yellow light, and The Straight Story a red light (if I'm not mistaken)...it is very ridiculous.

[Wirehed]

I have a friend that has been argueing in email with this guy for clost to a year now. heh. It's pretty funny.

Anyway, if it's supposed to be a review site for kids, why is he reviewing "American Psycho" and other obviously adult films? I happen to own AP, but I sure wouldn't let my kid watch it... jeesh

[Patrick]

Read the review for the South Park movie. It's his best work.
http://www.capalert.com/capreports/southpark.htm

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Last of the freelance hackers
Greatest sword fighter in the world
Stringer, Central Intelligence Corporation
Specializing in software-related intel (music, movies & microcode)

My DVD Collection

[jondaris]

Originally posted by Seamonkey:
I have a friend that has been argueing in email with this guy for clost to a year now. heh. It's pretty funny.

Once, when I was in troll mode, I wrote him a complaint letter about the fact that he gave "Mary Poppins" a perfect score. I pointed out that Poppins, who was likely a witch and beholden to the satan and the supernatural, had invaded a normal houselhold with the express intent of overthrowing parental authority. I accused CAP of being way too liberal, and asked that they immediately change their review to reflect the satanic and subversive nature of the film.

They never wrote me back.

[Wirehed]

Wow, that's almost exactly what my friend did, only they have been going back and forth over it for a long time.

I'll try to talk him into putting the emails up on his blog site but he is pretty busy lighting Garfield on fire right now.
http://www.badmouth.net/

[Rogue]

I went to this site out of curiosity and almost fell on my ass when they objected to "excessive cleavage before a child" in A.I.!!!

How many people take these nuts seriously? The only review individual images and/or scenes not bothering to take into account the context.

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"Every artist is a cannibal, every poet is a thief."

I've been an irregular reader of these clowns for years. They're the funniest movie reviewers on the web!!!

One of my all time favorites was in their review of Kevin Smith's "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" where they list a "Fall from great heights" as wanton violence. So I'm guessing that they're calling for the repeal of the Law of Gravity?

[pdjennings]

Originally posted by Rogue:
I went to this site out of curiosity and almost fell on my ass when they objected to "excessive cleavage before a child" in A.I.!!!

Aren't breasts for kids when you get right down to it?

Anyway... I think the Harry Potter review is my favorite one on there right now. Evil evil evil evil!

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{ My DVD Collection }

[SolidSnakeASS]

check out: www.family.org and there reviews. very funny.

[run1]

This site has been a source of comedy for many years now. I just knew their "Harry Potter" review would be good.......and it is!

'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. An amazing excursion through dazzling computer animation and computer-aided graphics. A colorful display of goth art. A bunch of delightful and bright kids displaying great talent and skills. Ingenious planning and outstanding attention to detail rivaling commercial nuclear power production (and I spent 14 years as a nuke). Several points of wisdom, integrity and honor skillfully placed. And all to present evil as good.'

This guy spent 14 years as a nuke? Now there's a real cause for consern.
Can't wait for their review of LOTR.....

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"These are the moments I live for.
I put up with all the other crap just to get seconds like this.
The moments when you know the world is a better place than advertised."
-Planetary, Warren Ellis

[jondaris]

Heh. I actually found the letter in my sent mail archives:

>>I don't understand your rating Mary Poppins as being a perfectly child appropriate film.

It features a (possibly satanic) witch who invades a home by violently disposing of all competition for the nanny position.

She uses witchcraft and magic spells to entrance the children, then uses them to overthrow the God given authority of their father.

This doesn't sound like a film that promotes the glory of God to me. Of course, it's about what we can expect from Disney.>>

[Templar]

Yet another embarassment for Christians everywhere. Did you read his list of problems with From Hell? They're hilarous...he lists "Public urination" as a "Sex/Homosexuality" as well as..."Man and woman in bed, clothed". Utterly hilarious...as well as...under "Offense to God": "Kevorikian Art"? What the hell is that?

Too funny.

[Taxi]

I don't understand your problems with that site.

Would you prefer that these people activily petition out in front of the movies that they find objectionable? I looked through their mission statements and goals and I saw nothing about trying to get movies they find objectionable censored, or kept from being shown.

I'd bet you'd all be the first ones to label "fundies" as "closed minded," yet you seem to take satisfaction in demeaning them for their beliefs.

Who has the open mind now?

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Taxi - DVDFile Forum Administrator
Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one

[Taxi]

Also, moving this to Soapbox where it belongs.

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Taxi - DVDFile Forum Administrator
I shouldn't have told you that.